


Klaus! Drugs! The Worst!

by RooWanders



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: M/M, TW: Blood mention, This takes place 3 months after ben dies, so it references that, tw: recreational drug use, tw: weed use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-03
Packaged: 2020-06-03 07:16:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19459060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RooWanders/pseuds/RooWanders
Summary: “This, my sweet innocent Di Di, is a bong. Her name is Sappho and she’s beautiful. Whats a bong for you may be asking? Well, Diego. Drugs. It’s for that terrible weed. Yes, yes I know. Klaus! Drugs! The worst!  Weed is a gateway drug! Do a single drug and you will die! What will father say?"OrBen has been dead for 3 months and Diego and Klaus are dealing in their own ways





	Klaus! Drugs! The Worst!

**Author's Note:**

> tell me if you like this??? i haven't posted in literal years bc the Depression got me fucked up and I'm just learning to write again. I could see this maybe going somewhere further than just this super short oneshot. I'm not sure though.  
> but yea!! Please comment and tell me your thoughts!

Diego feels the press of brick against his back, the soft breeze against his face and closes his eyes. He breathes deeply and sighs, pulling his coat closer around him.

It’s cold tonight. Obviously, seeing as it’s January in New York, but he doesn’t mind as much as he should. He wears 3 sweaters under his coat (The Mexican blood in him doesn’t lie) but it’s okay. It’s better than dealing with the academy right now. 

He pushes off the wall he’d been leaning on and starts walking again. Believe it or not, those masks really didn’t do much for protecting their identities. He was recognized sometimes and so he kept to the alleys. Tall dark buildings surrounded him, giving him an embrace that only someone truly as broken as he was could feel comforted by. Garbage overflowed from dumpsters, creatures lurked, the homeless slept, and even still, Diego felt at home. More at home than his actual home anyway. 

Tonight he hadn’t wandered too far from the academy. Just a few blocks, compared to how he usually would end up across the city. He’d have to subway home at 3 am most nights, having walked too far to possibly come back on his own two feet in time to not be caught. 

Sure the whole not-sleeping-eternally-walking thing was making him a little tired, he thought as he stifled a yawn. But he needed to be out of there. He couldn’t take hearing Klaus in the room next to him cry himself to sleep every night. It was too much. He needed to be out and make ground. Needed to move so he could stop picturing it. 

Tentacles. Blood. God So much Blood. 

He shakes his head away from the thought and continues on, walking towards the academy. Hands in his pockets and a single earphone in his ear, he lets his thoughts drift away from him. 

The walk home is uneventful, as they all are. He does manage to pet a stray cat and it may or may not make his night. He kinda feels like a stray cat to be completely honest. No home, no friends, and constantly moving. The cat runs off and he continues to the academy. 

He climbs into his open window and is immediately hit in the face by a strong earthy smell. His mind stops. This isn’t normal. Daddy's perfect soldier mode turns on and he moves stealthily towards his door. Are they all dead? Just like Ben? God, he can’t lose another one. 

Diego takes out his knives and sneaks into the hallway, searching for the source of the smell. The house seems mostly quiet other than soft music playing in Klaus’ room, but he’s always playing music. It helps him sleep. Drowns out the ghosts and makes it a little bit easier to exist. Diego doesn’t know how he feels about knowing these random facts about his brother. None of the others seem to care about Klaus. Just pushing him off as, well, Klaus. Diego was the only one who caught onto the little ‘jokes’ that weren’t jokes and put the pieces together to understand him. He hates his siblings for failing Klaus. He hates himself for failing Klaus, but most of all he hates their father for failing all of them. 

He can see the light under Klaus’ door. He presses his ear against the door and hears… bubbling? Klaus coughs from beyond the door. It seems like everything is probably alright. Something sits at the back of Diego's mind still though. It’s unlike for Klaus to be awake this late. Most siblings fell asleep around 1 in the morning (9:30 pm mandatory bedtime, 5:00 am wake up call 5 days of the week, crazy training and boredom/isolation will do that to you). Maybe he was having a hard night? Diego feels a mixture of guilt and concern. He should’ve been helping Klaus through this, not running around. 

He knocks on the door lightly. Klaus from beyond the door starts rushing around the room. He probably thinks he’s gonna get in shit for being up so late.

“It’s Diego” he whispers, loud enough that he’ll be able to hear him through the door, but quiet enough as not to wake anyone. He hears a sigh and waits for his brother to open the door. 

Klaus opens the door. He looks slightly wild. Green eyes tinged red, pupils blown. His boxers hang low on his hips and the old oversized t-shirt he wears looks like it’s seen better days. He looks tired, but there is something else in there. He shoots Diego a sly smile. 

He looks into Klaus’ room. Smoke drifts around the room and the smell is absolutely the strongest here. It could be incense, but their father had banned it after Klaus had nearly burned the house down. Plus the smell was different from the incense Klaus favoured. Diego thinks he might be able to place the smell when Klaus interrupts his thoughts. 

“Can I uh help you Mr. leather man?” Klaus gestures to Diego's leather pants and harness. Diego feels his ears burn.

“I smelt something and saw you were still up. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay” he says sheepishly. God? Why was he being like this? Diego is not shy. People often thought he was due to his stutter, but that wasn’t the case at all. 

Klaus grins and just drags him into the room. He encourages Diego to sit with him on the bed. He lights a cigarette and lies back, mumbling about not being tired yet. He smokes in silence for a moment. Diego looks around the room.

It’s messy. Like really messy. Dirty dishes and clothes cover every surface and his sheet is half off his bed. Klaus had never really believed in the whole “cleaning” thing before but his room had never gotten this bad. Diego silently stores this away and swears to help Klaus clean up on their next free time period. His room was usually nice, always slightly unkempt, but nice. Fairy lights wrapped around the entire room, giving a soft white glow. Weird art, portraits, and posters of long-dead musicians lined the walls, making it seem like a grungy art gallery. It’s so Klaus. A disaster, but a pretty disaster.

He’s brought to the present by Klaus sitting up and leaning against him. The cigarette is still between his lips and he grins up at Diego. 

“Wanna know what that weird smell was?” He looks into Diego's eyes almost like it’s a challenge. And what is Diego but a competitive asshole? He nods and Klaus scoots over to the nightstand. He pushes it forward and brings out a… vase? 

“Wha-“ 

“This, my sweet innocent Di Di, is a bong. Her name is Sappho and she’s beautiful. Whats a bong for you may be asking? Well, Diego. Drugs. It’s for that terrible weed. Yes, yes I know. Klaus! Drugs! The worst! Weed is a gateway drug! Do a single drug and you will die! What will father say?” Klaus brings the hand not holding the bong to cover his mouth in faux surprise. The shirt slips off his one shoulder and Diego has to force himself not to stare at the collarbone that shows. Klaus looks at Diego seriously for a moment before leaning in. 

“When has what dad said been right?” His devious lips curl into a wicked smile. 

“I - uh” “Yes! You absolutely can have some!” Klaus giggles and slaps Diego on the arm playfully. 

“I don’t know if this is a good idea. Isn’t it illegal?”  
“Isn’t getting your kid killed illegal?” He responds under his breath, face flat and sullen for a second before returning to a gentle smile. 

Klaus walks over to his large window and opens it. He beckons him over. Diego, kicking himself the entire time he does, follows. He has butterflies in his stomach and he doesn’t quite understand why.  
“I’ll go first okay?” Klaus’ eyes are even redder up close. His breath smells like vodka and it's overpowering. But god, he’s beautiful. It’s weird because Diego thinks Allison beautiful. Of course he does! She is beautiful. The conventional definition of beauty! Long hair, pretty eyes, and full lips. She’s practically a model. Diego looks Klaus up and down as he packs the bowl piece. His legs are long and slender, the slightest hint of muscle. And his face is, well, something else. Mischievous but permanently sad eyes with his lips pulled into a smile until no one is looking. He’s sad. He’s beautifully sad and it’s horrible. Diego feels guilty because it is partially his fault. Tentacles flash before his eyes and he decides to /not/ go down that route right now. He instead looks intently at Klaus who is looking at his bong like a child. Weird. 

Klaus lights the bowl piece and inhales. Long and hard. He waggles his eyebrows at Diego and pulls the bowl, all the burnt weed sucked into the bong. He exhales it out the window, smoke mixing with the late night air. That same smell from before fills the room and really, it’s not that bad. And Klaus is right. Why should he trust Dad? Maybe it’s because he’s 17 and maybe it’s because it’s 3 in the morning and he hates his father, but Diego asks Klaus to try. 

“Really!? I always knew you were a smart one Didi!” He’s using that nickname a lot tonight. No one has called him that since they were kids. He doesn’t mind right now though. Something warm flutters down below and he’s smiling. 

“What’s gonna happen to me?” He asks, looking at the weird purple bong.

“You’re going to get stoned!” Klaus responds, matter of factly. 

“Yea I know dipshit, like how am I gonna feel?”

“Giggly? Cloudy? Happy? I don’t know. It’s different for everyone. It just lets me sort of” he throws his hands up in the air, trying to come up with the words. “it lets me forget for a little bit.” There is no laughter in that voice. It’s honest. 

“Now smoke up big boy!” Klaus says a little too loud and slaps Diego's ass. He lights the bong and sucks like he’d seen Klaus do but doesn’t last nearly as long. The little weed he put in the bowl is still there, barely burnt. Diego exhales and coughs violently, handing the bong back over to Klaus.

“Fuck man! Is it supposed to make me wanna throw up?” His head spins slightly as he tries to orient himself. 

“I actually threw up after my first bowl, so yes” Klaus giggles. His curls bounce around his head and Diego just wants to touch them. So he does. The nausea wears off and, well, this feels pretty nice. Klaus leans up into his hand and smiles like the fucking sun. 

“Can I try again?”

\--------

They smoke a few more bowls together. Every time hurts like the first for Diego, but that's okay. He doesn’t care anymore. He’s giggly and smiling and feels absolutely euphoric. 

The room is slightly smoky and filled with their hushed giggles. Soft lofty music plays and Klaus has switched the fairy lights off, in place for a moving trippy blue and green light. It’s nice and he feels at peace. They lay together on the bed, sides touching. Everything is fuzzy. Diego gives Klaus a high smile and turns to face him. 

Klaus stares at him. No grin tugging his lips this time. Flat features that search his face and falter on his lips, on the healed scar running across his head, on his eyes. Diego, not knowing how to interpret it, looks back at him. There are so many little details he can’t notice from across the table at meals or beside him in missions. Or maybe he could and just never bothered to. Klaus has a small peppering of freckles over his nose. Light enough to not be seen unless you look. Their eyes meet once more.  
Klaus’ eyes move to his lips and stay there for a second. He moves his hand up to Diego’s face and it feels right, it feels nice, it feels good. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting or why he’s disappointed when Klaus just ruffles his hair and sits up. 

“I think I know how we can make it so you don’t cough your lungs up,” he says softly. With that, Klaus gets out of his bed, goes to his bong and packs another bowl. Diego is surprised. They have already smoked a lot and Klaus had been smoking before they arrived. A twinge of worry eats at his guts, but another part of him reminds him that Klaus saw his brother die horrifically 3 months ago. He can kinda do what he wants for a bit. 

“Okay” This isn’t like Diego. He never goes along with Klaus’ plans and is always first to tell him that it’s bullshit. But maybe, maybe some part of him wants to get back into bed with Klaus after they smoke and just talk again. Like they had been already. It was nice being that close to him. And so he gets up and walks to the window where Klaus has prepared the bowl. 

“So… I uh.. Don’t know how to explain this to you but just go along with it, okay?” Diego nods his agreement. 

Klaus picks up the lighter. Diego doesn’t know if it’s because they’re stoned, or if it’s something else but Klaus’ face is red. Diego reminds himself it’s probably just the weed. 

Klaus smokes this bowl differently than the others. With this one he drags it out, inhales for as long as he possibly can with sucking the remnants down. The bowl is large and ambitious, but oh well. So are they. 

He lifts his mouth away from the bong and wags his fingers at Diego, calling him over. He walks over and is immediately gifted by Klaus lips on his, exhaling the smoke. His eyes are wide open as he inhales what Klaus is breathing into him. It’s weird. It’s really weird but really nice and before he knows it Klaus has pulled away. Diego exhales. He can feel his heart racing.

A deafening silence breaks between them. Diego reaches up to touch his lips, not knowing what to do or what to say. It only felt good because he’s high right? That’s the only possible reason why? He looks everywhere but Klaus, face. His cheeks burn. 

“I’m, uh, really sorry. Guess I’m really stoned hah. I just thought-“

Diego interrupts him by pressing his lips against the other boys. He’s high and it’s so late and he doesn’t have time for rational thinking. Klaus falters before dropping his hands to Diego's hips and holding on for dear life. Diego brings his hands up to hold his face and deepens the kiss. He licks into Klaus’ mouth and fuck, this is his first fucking kiss, and it’s Klaus. It feels right and he doesn’t want it to stop. 

But then it does stop. They break away, breathless. Klaus hands stay a steady force on Diego's hips. Diego drops his hands. What the fuck did he just do? He just kissed Klaus. Fuck. He’s fucked. He’s just as bad as the rest of them. He saw Klaus high and upset and took advantage of him. He feels disgusted with himself. Tentacles. Blood. Ben. Screaming. It’s all back and it’s all /his fault/.

“I’ve wanted to do that since we were kids” Klaus whispers, bringing a hand up to stroke Diego's face. His mind falls blank. He doesn’t know what to say to that. 

And so he doesn’t say anything. He leaves the room. 

———

Klaus stands with his head in hands and watches Diego leave. When the door finally closes, he sits on his bed and cries. 

He’s so fucking stupid.


End file.
